Today is Easter. We may know the tragic story of Jesus (Yeshua) on the cross, the betrayal of Judas, the anguish of the Mother – we may have been taught that he died for our “sins”. This is the externalized view of Easter.

Then there’s the story that Christianity appropriated the pagan worship of the new life of spring, that fertility was sanitized into a spiritual rebirth. Because, fertility means sex, and you can’t have any of that – or, if you do, at least don’t admit you enjoy it. Let it be whitewashed into bunnies and baby chicks, both sweet representations of “fruitfulness”.

There’s a different path into this story.

You are Yeshua. You are the human who doubts and loves and wonders if it’s all worth it. Who wonders if there’s a way to escape your destiny, or escape your past. Everything you have done, with all your best intentions, with whatever tools you had at your disposal at the time, all of it has led you here.

Can you sit with the reality of your life as it is? As it has been? On one fateful day everything came home to roost for Yeshua. Reality came crashing in. He saw it coming. He tried to be brave. But, he was afraid, he felt abandoned. There was no way around what must happen.

I recently told a client a story about Milarepa, a Tibetan yogi from the Middle Ages. The story, as I heard it, goes like this: Milarepa was sitting one day in a cave in the Himalayas where he lived for many years, deep in meditation. Suddenly, out of nowhere, 100 demons showed up. They were ferocious and menacing. Milarepa’s teacher had told him this might happen and had armed him with practices to use when it did. This was the first time he had been tested in this way, and he resolved to remain steady in the face of danger and fear.

Milarepa used the first practice he had learned, and half the demons disappeared. Good job! He tried the second method he had been taught, and half the remaining demons were miraculously gone. Feeling more confident, he continued to use the various methods his teacher had transmitted to him, and every time, more of the demons were gone.

Until the last banishing. The last trick up his sleeve was played. And, there was one demon left. The demon roared his terrible roar and gnashed his terrible teeth and rolled his terrible eyes. (Thank you, Maurice Sendack.)

Milarepa sat with the demon, completely defenseless. Like Yeshua on the eve of Good Friday, knowing there was nothing more to be done, no way to escape.

And, so, Milarepa laid his head into the mouth of the demon. Complete surrender.

The demon dissolved into the Emptiness from which it came.

Yeshua was hung on the cross. His mother and his beloved friends and students witnessed and wept as he surrendered to his fate. He was tortured. He could have run away, but he chose to walk through what was his to walk through. He chose to face where his life had led him, to this place on the planet, these particular forces brought to bear.

He hung. He hung with life and death, with grief and compassion, with doubt and fear and complete surrender, knowing in the end it was not the “right” thing to do, but the only thing to do. With complete certainty, even in the face of his human doubt.

Come Easter… he was reborn.

What are your demons? What drives you into distraction? What are the things in your life you can barely tolerate thinking about, much less admit to another human being? Or, perhaps you think about all the time with such crushing condemnation of self or other that you feel there’s no relief? Do you hate your body? Do you blame yourself for the end of a relationship, or feel you were a bad parent? Was your childhood so damaging you feel you can never escape, and yet you continually try? Do you have a frightening health diagnosis that you can’t quite face head on?

What cross do you bear? What methods do you use to try to dispel these demons? Do you use food or other substances as a distraction? Sex? Shopping? Television? Surfing the net? Social media?

Have you noticed these methods may banish many of the demons at least some of the time, but there still seems to be at least one that breathes down your neck? Most of these demons are fear of what will happen, or inner criticism about something past or current in our lives. Some are fiery rage about a very real injustice that we just can’t let go of.

Milarepa knew in the end that he needed to give himself completely to the most feared being he had ever encountered, not knowing the outcome. Yeshua knew in the end that there was no other way than to face and embrace his own death. Knowing the outcome, and doing what needed to be done anyway.

And, he was given new life. He was purified, and reborn.

What would happen if you laid your head into the mouth of your demon? What if you truly let yourself hang, not knowing the outcome, not even trusting – just knowing it’s the only thing left to do, because you simply can’t run anymore?

What might happen? Do you have the courage to not only face your demon, but then to let it disappear? What would happen if you really put your cross down?

Happy Easter. I wish you courage on your journey. May you have ease of being. May you know the joy of rebirth. Peace to you. Peace. Only peace.

This entry was posted on Monday, April 21st, 2014 at 1:30 am and is filed under Seasonal Change. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.