It’s Easter. It’s my birthday week. It was a full moon lunar eclipse.

I’m an Aries who usually starts announcing her birthday at least a month before it arrives. Not this year. I took myself to the beach. Solo. Batteries in serious need of recharging.

Haystack Rock, Cannon Beach, OR

In January I had experimented with some foods that I’ve been avoiding for many years. A bit of honey here and there. Some 90% chocolate (read “10% sugar”). Yams. Even some … potatoes. Non-GMO corn chips.

I just kept thinking, “Damn it, I’ve been such a good girl for so long, surely I’ve healed enough to be able to tolerate a few more foods! I deserve this!”

It became evident in February that I was in an autoimmune and yeast flare. Fatigue, foggy head, body aches. And, fatigue. Really tired.

I feel so fortunate that I know what to do to take care of myself when the signs are clear. I’m still recovering. I’m also looking carefully at how I spend my time. Napping more regularly. Looking at my tendencies to try to help others, to try to fix things, that further drain my energy.

Humility has been a cornerstone of my spiritual practice since early on. Looking straight into my tendencies to think I know what someone else, or even myself, should do to feel better, or to fix issues in relationships. Even in my professional life! I do my best work in counseling when I ask questions, or list options for people to choose from. There is no fixed answer, there’s only the answer that works for you. And, sometimes that’s not really an answer, it’s just the next thing to be learned from. Like, deciding to eat honey for a month until I prove to myself again that it doesn’t work for me.

I’m grateful for spiritual practices. They are what keep me on an even keel when it feels like life is crumbling. They show me that life is not crumbling. That feeling of crumbling is just an invitation to look more deeply at the nature of life itself. Everything changes, and there’s really very little control we have over that. When I accept that deeply, there’s a profound sense of freedom that comes as emotions unwind. Fear and desire. Thoughts of what “should” be happening that are at odds with what “is” happening.

Tom and I will be offering our last longer Spiritual Practices session until the Autumn on April 12th. We will be starting up a weekly practice group for those who would like briefer, more regular support. See the events page for more about April 12th, and please respond with an email if you are interested in the weekly drop in group.

Many blessings on your Springtime!

This entry was posted on Sunday, April 5th, 2015 at 6:39 pm and is filed under Events, Food Sensitivities, Health and Nutrition, Integrating Lifestyle Changes, Life on Life's Terms, Living with Health Challenges, Meditation. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.