People sometimes ask me what kind of training I have to do the counseling work that I do. That question always makes me want to laugh and cry.

Yes, I have training in multiple spiritual, psychological and coaching modalities. Personal healing and spiritual awakening has been a central focus in my life since my late 20s. But, I didn’t embark on this path to heal others. I was crawling through the muck of my personal story, and was sick and tired of suffering.

It has not been a straight line, this healing path. There’s a saying that we travel in spirals as we heal, revisiting similar issues cyclically. Each time you find yourself seemingly going over the same ground, check in and see what’s shifted since the last time you were here. Are you catching the patterns faster? Do you have more awareness about the process you are in? Is there are part of you that is not quite as caught up in the story as it plays out? This is progress. We heal, sometimes slowly, and sometimes more quickly. But, movement is happening. Can you give yourself credit for that?

Out of Purgatory, acrylic on paper

My family attended a Beltane festival yesterday, an ancient Celtic celebration of springtime and fertility. We celebrated the outgoing May Queen (curtsy) and King, and welcomed a new May royalty who will hold and embody in sacred trust the ability of the earth and all its inhabitants to bring forth new life.

Flower and herb crown for new life!

That may be literal or metaphoric children. We birth our ideas, we birth our creative endeavors, we birth our changes in our work-in-the-world. We all wrote down what we wanted to bring into life in the coming year on a ribbon and tied it to the Maypole – the sky god’s very own phallus resting in the earth mother’s yoni. We danced and sang and wrapped that phallus with our sincere wishes for prosperity and love and health and world peace. (In true Beltane fashion there were a few wishes expressed for really good sex, too.)
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Today is Easter. We may know the tragic story of Jesus (Yeshua) on the cross, the betrayal of Judas, the anguish of the Mother – we may have been taught that he died for our “sins”. This is the externalized view of Easter.

Then there’s the story that Christianity appropriated the pagan worship of the new life of spring, that fertility was sanitized into a spiritual rebirth. Because, fertility means sex, and you can’t have any of that – or, if you do, at least don’t admit you enjoy it. Let it be whitewashed into bunnies and baby chicks, both sweet representations of “fruitfulness”.

There’s a different path into this story.

You are Yeshua. You are the human who doubts and loves and wonders if it’s all worth it. Who wonders if there’s a way to escape your destiny, or escape your past. Everything you have done, with all your best intentions, with whatever tools you had at your disposal at the time, all of it has led you here.
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I didn’t go into Lent with high spiritual ideals. It was a mindfulness exercise. But, perhaps unrelated, I’m more in touch with some mysterious thread, or, more appropriately, a thread of mystery. Was it uncovered because I’m more rested from consuming less caffeine and getting more sleep? Perhaps. It may be a combination of that and being hit by the hardest virus I’ve contracted in many years. Fever is harder on me than I remember it being in my youth. Being brought to my knees seems a particularly Lenten activity. The part of me that knows there are no accidents tunes into this.

I’m simplifying somewhat. This thread has actually been growing and strengthening for many years. It’s the core of my work. The core of my life. But, there’s a confidence in what is known that has reached a new threshold.

What is known is:

A wild woman herbalist in me who likes to sniff and boil and steep and sip.

A shaman dropping into liminal space and moving toxins out of this body system. I’ve seen Lyme literally dropping out of my body. A spirit teacher ripping a length of DNA that had developed from ancestral trauma and habit, and knit my building blocks back together without them.
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My Lenten commitments are: refraining from all forms of caffeine except cocoa or chocolate, shutting down the computer by 10, and being in bed by 10:30.

Lenten Contemplation

I’m so glad I don’t suffer as much as I used to from perfectionist critic attacks. Sometimes I feel like the skills I’ve developed in this area are the most useful and foundational of all the consciousness work I’ve done over the years. Knowing that progress counts for a lot is incredibly affirming. I remember a time when not hitting a mark perfectly, a mark that I had created, would send me into a tail spin of self flagellation for days.

I have successfully refrained from the caffeine. I’ve thoroughly enjoyed my chocolate, and have definitely used it as a stimulant on a few tired days.
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The first tender crocii

I realize some of you may still be in the ice and snow. Let me assure you that it won’t be long. She is moving her way across the land.

The first daffodil open at my children’s school

The fact that it’s Lent is part of my contemplation. My friends keep asking if I’m Christian when I say that. Well… yes and no. I’d call myself a Shamanic Christo-Budheo-Pagan these days. A Gnostic Mystic. A Laughing Fool. Lover of Food and Tribe. Pretty hard to pin that identity down, there’s just too much richness in the wild tapestry of life to try to fit it into a box.

For me, Lent is an opportunity to bring attention to areas of our lives that are often unconscious. Self-care. Other-care. How can we shine the light onto our habits, into our thought patterns?

Lent asks us to release habits or substances that may be blocking sacred expression. It also asks that we bring in acts of service. Where can we move out of our tendencies to be self involved?

And, how can we be joyful and free as we do so? Renunciation and service do not have to be an onerous task.

This is a valuable contemplation whatever your spiritual or religious orientation.

That’s my inquiry this season. Where does this rumination take you? I’d love to hear. I’ll share my discoveries along the way.

I’m offering three events this month, please RSVP if you’d like to join us!

Community event
Third Saturday with
The Cook Awakening
The Green Potluck
It’s Springtime, y’all! And, St Patty’s Day, or “Bring Back the Snakes” Day, as a dear friend calls it. And, Lent. Can we put all these together into a theme? Why not! Think green, fresh, Irish, and letting go of what no longer serves. Choose a part or all of the theme, just make it delicious. I think I’ll try and track down a nitrate-free corned beef, and cook up some cabbage.

No grains or refined sugars, please!

Saturday, March 15th, 11 am – 2 pm
Fee: one potluck dish to share
SE Portland address given upon RSVP
Contact Durga for suggestions, no one turned away for lack of imagination

Community event
Field Trip!
Wild Stinging Nettle Harvest
Nettles are ready! We’ll meet at the far end of the parking lot at the Sandy River Delta Park – take exit 18 off I-84 near Troutdale, OR. Call or text me at 503.422.8346 if you get lost. We’ll head out by 2:15 pm.

Sunday, March 16th
2:00 – 4:30 pm
Sandy River Delta Park
No need to RSVP, but we will be heading to the nettle patch by 2:15

Community event
Spring Equinox Bardic
Performance for Fun
This is an opportunity to have fun and/or go deep. Read a poem, sing a song, share a dance, or channel an extemporaneous offering. The earth is turning green again, it’s been a long, hard winter. Let’s celebrate Her return! Any offering is wonderful, but one in the theme brings cohesiveness to the evening. Kids welcome, including in the performance.

Saturday, February 22nd, 5 pm gluten-free potluck, 7 pm Bardic
Fee: one potluck dish to share if you come earlier, and a performance for the later portion
SE Portland address given upon RSVP
Contact Durga for suggestions, no one turned away for lack of imagination